About Fur Angels
There had to be a more compassionate, beautiful and dignified way to say good bye…
My name is Ursula, and I am an animal lover. I had the idea to become an end-of-life pet doula and memorial celebrant when I experienced the loss of my beloved Cobber, a joyous spoodle with a curly caramel coat, deep eyes, and a heart of pure gold.
Cobber stood by me with unconditional love and loyalty when life threw me curveball after curveball. He was there when things fell apart, and he was there when I pulled back together. His passing was simply unbearable. He was MY everything. But not many people understood.
When the time had come for Cobber to leave me and become my Fur Angel, it was the most difficult and traumatic experience in my life. I felt so lost, alone with my pain and was so distraught that I simply didn’t know what to do. I lost my parents, my brother and precious friends, and I thought I can cope. However I felt entirely overwhelmed by all the questions and decisions I faced, while I was in emotianal turmoil. I tried to do the best I can for Cobber. Thanks to understanding and loving support from friends I somehow made it through.
Over time, grief transformed into gratitude for all the gifts of joy, happiness and unconditional love Cobber gave me and the time we had together.
More than four years later I discovered that was far from having processed my loss. I came across an article about the topic of euthanasia and how this experience can cause deep feelings of guilt and trauma. Yet again, I started to cry and couldn’t stop. I began to realise how much more it took to truly accept my loss and finally take self-care seriously.
I realised that more had to be done to support people like me, who have such a deep bond with their pet companion.
Since then, supporting people like me who deeply grieve the loss of their pet and want to honour the life and love of their companion has been my calling.
Founding Fur Angels is my way to be of service to bereaved pet owners, support them emotionally and practical before, during and after the unavoidable moment of loss. In addition to counselling or support services and can also help to create a beautiful, personalised remembrance ceremony.
I’ll know I’ve given back and honoured Cobber if I help ease even one person’s grief over their pet’s passing.
When we meet to talk about your pet’s memorial program you won’t see Cobber but, trust me, he will be right there by my side.
“I remember it like yesterday, it was my 41st birthday and I was on the way to pick up my birthday gift.”
And what a gift it was. His name was Cobber and he was without any doubt the cutest puppy who has ever walked on earth. The love and bond was so instant, it was almost overwhelming. Little did I know that my life changed in this moment for good. I thought I get a buddy to go walking, hang out with or cuddle. I was not prepared to experience what it meant to forge such a deep connection with a dog.
He taught me so many things I didn’t really know until then. Unconditional love, forgiveness and compassion found new meaning. When some pretty dark times in my life came, and my world as I knew it fell apart, he was there and pulled me through. Always listening, cuddling, wagging his tail and making me smile, licking my tears away – always by my side.
Cobber was the so called runt of a spoodle litter. Shy, jumpy, anxious – he really didn’t like the company of other dogs too much. In puppy school he hid behind me, his safe place. He knew I would throw myself in front of a grizzly bear to save him. He suffered from extreme separation anxiety, and he pulled at every single nurturing heart string I had inside me.
Years passed. He got older, much older. A number of operations saved him during the years..Then the bad, devastating, heart wrenching news came. The devastating cancer took hold of him. I knew time was running out. I have always given Cobber one huge promise: that I wouldn’t let him suffer. I would let him go without pain, in dignity when he tells me so. I began to understand what pre-grieving means. Looking back after 5 years, I don’t really know which is harder, the time leading up to the decision of euthanasia, the experience itself or grief after.
When he stopped eating for many days and everything was difficult and painful, I knew the time had come. I was so lucky to have a wonderful vet who came to my home. Cobber lied on his favourite spot on the sofa. I held him and was with him to the end.
I don’t really know how to describe my emotions. I insisted to carry him to the vets car and made sure he lied there comfortably. Then I was alone and the grief and loss took hold.
I wasn’t really prepared for the hardest thing to come, when I had to pick up Cobbers ashes from my Vet. I don’t know how long I stood outside the door, struggling to go in and ask at the reception desk for his remains. When I walked out with a little bag in my arms, I was totally and utterly lost. All I remember what cradling his ashes and crying, crying, crying….. The weeks and months that followed were difficult and I slowly walked the path of grief and healing. Four years later, I read an article about pet euthanasia and was surprised to feel myself falling apart, crying my eyes out. Clearly I still had grieving to do and find the self-compassion to forgive myself for ending my beloved dogs’ life.
In this moment I knew two things: Firstly, I am not alone in this, and secondly, there had to be a better way.
This is when I (or was it Cobber?) decided to establish the first dedicated End-of-life Grief Support and Memorial Celebrant Service solely dedicated to pets. I understood that we need to honour and celebrate the life of our companions and help each other to grief and heal.